I. Negative consequences of the absence of forgiving and forgetting:
A. The partners in a relationship where one or both of them have not forgiven or forgot, will run the risk of:
- Continuously being hurt with pain and suffering going unresolved.
- Chronically seeking revenge and paybacks from one another.
- Being caught up in unresolved anger, animosity, and bitterness.
- Being lost in a festering wound that never realizes the revitalization of healing.
- Fear over making a mistake or of having the mistake revealed.
- Being overwhelmed by fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of love, fear of non-approval, low self-esteem,and fear of conflict.
B. Signs of the lack of forgiving and forgetting:
- Irreconcilable differences between people.
- Indifference toward one another.
- Chronic attacks or angry outbursts.
- Addressing or interacting with one another disrespectfully.
- Chronic depression.
- Seeking revenge from one another.
- Chronic recalling and reminding of past hurts and offenses.
- Suspicious about the others’ motives, behavior, attitudes, and beliefs.
- Name calling, belittling and demeaning one another.
- Responding to present behavior as if it were past behavior.
- Unwillingness to change and/or unwillingness to seek the help necessary to change.
II. These responses are normal, but in the end, they cause more emotional pain; anger, self-contempt, bitterness, etc. But being angry with yourself or others won’t take away the hurt suffered from rejection. This cause us to be stuck with that pain, thinking there is no way out. But there is a way out, Jesus. Jesus is well acquainted with rejection because He was rejected by His own people; the Jews.
No matter how bleak your situation looks or no matter why, by whom, or how badly you’ve been rejected, Jesus will never turn you away. Because He knows the depths of rejection, Jesus wants to help you safely get out of rejection. Getting out of rejection mean facing your disappointments and losses. You are precious in Jesus’ eyes and He is your way out.
Welcome back everyone! I pray you’ll had a great Christmas and New Year’s celebration! Next Week – Jan 11th – Jan 17th: Forgiving & Forgetting Part III – Fear of Rejection.
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
Reference: http://www.livestrong.com/article/15064-handling-forgiving-forgetting/ (Article is no longer on website). However, here is another site with some of the same information on it; and it has a lot more:
“Heart That Forgives” by Kevin LeVar
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